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up in his bed； and shut the world out。 He wondered if he had any pot knotted in a black dress sock stuffed in the back of his top drawer。 He hadn’t wanted to smoke in ages； but right now he wanted to enter a deep pot…induced haze and never e out。
Nan gazed at Nate quizzically。 Deep crinkles appeared around the edges of her blue eyes； eyes that if he looked at from a certain angle； reminded him of Chips’s。 “Of course。 Good luck； son；” she added as she tottered away on her high heels。
“Thanks。” Nate regarded the wrinkled cream…colored envelope quizzically。 A wet snowflake landed on the envelope； smearing the N in his name。 Now it looked more like Fate。
“Ready to get out of here？” he asked Chuck as he marched down the wide stone steps。 He wondered if he could get a flight back to California tonight。 “I think I’m going back to the airport。 See if I can get back to Deep Springs；” Nate explained as they waited for the light to cross Lexington。
Chuck looked at him skeptically。 There was a glimmer of how he used to look back in high school； whenever someone suggested leaving a party。 “Are you sure about that？”
Nate stiffened； balling his hands in his jacket pockets。 “Yes；” he said firmly。 There was no one in New York he wanted to see。 New York was bad for him—full of past mistakes and regrets。
In little black dresses。
The light changed and they crossed the street。 “It’s New Year’s Eve。 No way will you be able to get out of here。 Just stay a couple days。” Chuck pointed out； trailing behind him across Eightieth Street。 Snow was beginning to stick to the street； blanketing the city in a thin layer of white。 “Besides； I’m having a party。”
Nate stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and turned to Chuck。 Didn’t he get it？ He’d just been at the funeral of someone who’d meant a lot to him； and all Chuck could talk about was a party？ “I don’t party anymore；” Nate said flatly。
“Too busy feeling sorry for yourself？” Chuck asked； briefly losing his patience。
Nate narrowed his green eyes。 Chuck sounded like Chips。 Nate could almost conjure the salt…sea air； standing on the deck of the Belinda； Chips angrily waving his tumbler of scotch out to an uncaring ocean。 “e on！” Chuck said； slapping Nate on the back as if to force him to buck up。
Chuck put hailed a cab。 “You’re ing with me；” he manded； pushing Nate into the backseat。
Aye； aye； Captain！
bohemian like them
“Is that it？ Or was that just your winter…into…spring wardrobe？ At least summer into fall might be slightly lighter。” Hollis wiped his brow theatrically and plopped down on the red hemp…fiber sewn couch。 He sighed in exhaustion； as if he’d nearly broken his back。 Really； all he’d done was help Vanessa carry her two suitcases of worldly possessions into the new Williamsburg apartment。
The new apartment； on the right side of the sugar factory this time。 In a brand…new luxury building with a concierge。 “Shut up！” Vanessa teased； perching on the overstuffed taupe ottoman across from him。
After Dan had kicked her out of the Humphreys’ last year； Vanessa had felt lost and heartbroken。 Not to mention very； very guilty。 Everything with Hollis had happened so quickly； she didn’t really have time to think about it； they had kissed once； and then they had kissed again； and then suddenly there was Dan； watching it all happen。 After he told Vanessa that he never wanted to see her again； a tiny part of her had died。 But there was nothing she could do to change what had happened。 She had to look forward； not back。 With nowhere else to turn； she’d called Hollis。 They’d slowly gotten to know each other over long nights of falafel； cheap red wine； and Vanessa with no place to crash except Hollis’s bed。
For the last year； she’d spent most nights at Hollis’s Alphabet City apartment。 But technically she resided in a curtained…off corner of the living room of a Bushwick apartment with Mackenzie and Rhiannon； two girls from NYU。 It was a far cry from what she now called home： an eighteen…hundred…square…foot glass and exposed…brick apartment with its own elevator； black…stained wood floors； and a winding staircase that connected a sleeping loft to the sprawling main living area。 It was incredible。 She and Hollis had been planning to move in together after her lease was up on December 31； but she hadn’t expected an apartment so…
“It’s so big here；” Vanessa said； her voice echoing off the still…bare walls。 Hollis had hired a decorator to furnish the apartment with the basics； but neither of them had put up any artwork yet。 She couldn’t wait to find cool prints and stills together to put on the walls； and really make it their own。 For now； she just wanted to run around the loft in her socks。 Because she could。
That’s one way to dial down the maturity level。
It was all like a fairy tale； with Hollis as her indie prince。 He hadn’t even told her how expensive it was； assuring Vanessa that her tiny contribution to the rent from her student job working in the digital film archives at school would more than cover her share。
At first； Vanessa had protested。 It felt so terribly cliché。 She was practically a kept woman！ Although it wasn’t her fault Hollis’s film Between the B and the A； a ing…of…age story about a twenty…one…year…old’s spiritual journey； had been the darling at Sundance and a surprise indie hit the summer before。 It was pretty obvious he wasn’t exactly living off a TA salary anymore。 And Hollis had countered Vanessa’s protests by explaining that his success was her success and vice versa。 They were a team。 Even though it was sort of corny； she couldn’t help but swoon a little。
She wandered over to the large arching windows； where she could just make out the East River rushing by in the distance。 She could hear Williamsburg denizens on the sidewalk below； just getting started on their New Year’s Eve festivities。 Vanessa was happy she and Hollis weren’t going out。
There are plenty of ways to have fun staying in。
Hollis hoisted himself up from the couch and wrapped his strong； lean arms around her。 Vanessa smiled and leaned back into him； feeling safe and protected。 Before Hollis； she’d always been a teenager dating other teenagers。 Even when she and Dan were serious； it had always felt to her like they were still so young； still so unformed。 But now； Vanessa felt like an adult。 And she was surprised by how much she liked that feeling。
“What are you thinking？” Hollis murmured in her ear。
“That I’m happy。” Vanessa tilted her chin up to kiss him； enjoying the way his slight stubble scratched her chin。
“I’m happy too；” Hollis said； pulling her in closer。
“And I’m hungry。” Vanessa pulled away； breaking the mood。 She was in love； but Vanessa Abrams was never going to be sappy about it。
And we love her for it。
Vanessa skidded on her socked feet toward the kitchen and pulled open the Sub…Zero refrigerator； which was stocked with osetra caviar； Cristal champagne； and other presents from talent agents； producers； and A…list directors。
“Champagne？” Vanessa handed one of the bottles to Hollis。 “And then can we order from Sea？ I’m in the mood for Thai。” She watched him expertly open the bottle and suddenly laughed。 “You know； the first time I had champagne was for my eighteenth birthday。 The Raves played。” That was when Ruby was touring Prague with her band； SugarDaddy； and Blair Waldorf had moved in as a temporary roommate。 Things were so different now。 Ruby was married and five months pregnant。 But back then； they all seemed so young。
A smile crossed Vanessa’s face at the memory of Blair living in the tiny； ramshackle one…bedroom apartment。 She’d tried to class it up by having her mom’s interior decorator redo the living room in shades of lilac and celery； but eventually； Blair had realized that she’d never be a Brooklynite。 They’d had fun； though； and Vanessa would always remember that time fondly。
Hollis opened the glass…fronted cabinets and poured two glasses of champagne。 “To us。”
“To us；” Vanessa repeated absently。 Her mind was far away； trying to piece together the events of her eighteenth birthday party。 The night had begun as just a few friends ing over； but had morphed into an all…night rager； the one and only she’d ever thrown。 She plunked down on one of the metal stools surrounding the granite kitchen island and furrowed her brow。 “The Raves were obsessed with Serena van der Woodsen。 And Dan was writing their lyrics and serving as front man。 Or he was； until he threw up all over himself onstage。” Vanessa giggled at the memory。 It had gone down in history as an anecdote she or Jenny would always bring up to annoy Dan。
“Wait； the Raves were at your party to hook up with that actress from Coffee at the Palace？” Hollis asked； ignoring Vanessa’s reference to her ex。
Hollis sat down across from her at the counter and ran a hand through his jet…black hair。 His gray eyes were smiling。 “You； Ms。 Abrams； are full of surprises。 You told me you were the girl with a shaved head and no friends in high school。 Now； I hear you were partying with Serena van der Woodsen； getting the Raves to perform at your birthday… and you say I’m th