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Serena probably still harbored some desperate dream that she and Nate would live happily ever in
the city together while Blair was up in New Haven。 Like that wouldever happen。
？Well； I？m off to find him；？ Blair chirped gaily。
As soon as she sauntered away； Rain and Nicki quickly filled the spot next to Serena。 Rain held a
cocktail napkin in her hand； and Nicki held a pen as they awkwardly tripped over themselves to
get Serena？s attention。 So that was it？they wanted Serena？s autograph。 To Blair？s surprise； she
didn？t even feel jealous。 People were always drooling over Serena； and they always would be。
What did she care？ She had everything she？d ever wanted。
And by ？everything；？ she meant a living； breathing person； right？
Blair was about to check the neighboring European sculpture room when she spotted Nate out of
the corner of her eye。 He was leaning against a tall Romanesque column near the dance floor；
looking glum。 Jeremy Scott Tomp…kinson； Nate？s skinny； sideburned friend from school and
Anthony Avuldsen； looking incredibly blond and athletic； were periodically punching him in the
arm； clearly trying to pry him away from the column and get him to dance or drink or at least
smile。 Nate just waved his hand at them； so they shuffled off to the dance floor alone； dancing like
idiots three feet apart from each other。 Well； if the sight of his stoner friends jerking their arms and
legs spastically on the dance floor couldn？t cheer up Nate； Blair knew something that would。 She
pushed through the dancing crowd； practically trampling over Laura Salmon； dressed in a
salmon…colored silk Dior dress that sagged in the chest and was way too old for her。
Salmon in salmon。 How appropriate。
Blair bounded up to Nate； throwing her arms around him。 ？Guess what？？ she demanded； her blue
eyes sparkling。 ？I have really big news。？ Nate smiled at her wordlessly； but his eyes were a million
miles away。 She plowed ahead anyway； grabbing his black bow tie and forcing him to pay
attention。 ？So I told my dad about your little problem； and he talked to Yale； andI got you in ！？ She
threw her arms tightly around him again and whispered in his ear。 ？Now we can be together at
Yale？just like we planned！？ Her whole body shook with excitement； but Nate just stood there；
stock…still。 He？d hardly even hugged her back。 She pulled back and looked into his stunning green
eyes； searching them questioningly。
？Wow。？ Nate shook his head slowly。 ？I don？t know what to say。？ He blinked； trying to process
what she？d just said。 Go to Yale； for real？ Not just take the train to New Haven twice a day and
pretend he went there？ ？Blair 。 。 。 you？re amazing。？ Now that was more like it。 ？I know。？ Blair
was about to give Nate a kiss he？d never forget when she spotted her mother approaching from
across the room； wearing an ivory…colored floor…length Versace gown encrusted with millions of
tiny gold sequins； and Gucci stilettos that looked like they were made of twenty…four…carat gold
ropes。 Ever since Eleanor had lost all her baby weight； she？d been wearing tacky look…at…me
outfits； but Blair was too happy to be annoyed with her crazy mother tonight。
Davita Fjorde strode alongside Eleanor； wearing a black Miu Miu minidress and hot pink satin
Miu Miu peep…toe platforms； barking orders into her headset。 ？No； no； no！？ she hissed。 ？Just wash
him off and get him out there as a regular waiter。Nonflammable paint only！ I don？t need a human
torch streaking through my party！？ She smiled tightly at Eleanor and then murmured into her
headset； ？Okay； photo one； you？re up once we find Blair。？ Blair knew that her mom and Davita
were preparing to drag her off somewhere so she could pose for some god…awful pictures her
mother would no doubt blow up so large you？d be able to see every one of Blair？s pores。
Knowing they？d be separated momentarily； she leaned in to whisper in Nate？s ear。 ？Our train
leaves at 10 A。M。 tomorrow morning from Grand Central；？ she told him softly； loving the smell of
Acqua Di Parma on his skin？a fresh； lemony scent she knew he only used on special occasions。 ？I
know we could drive； but this will be so much more romantic！？ She drew back and smiled sweetly
up at him again。
Nate had never seen Blair look so beautiful？or so happy。 Her skin was golden brown； her face
rosy against her bright blue dress。 The diamond studs in her tiny earlobes shone in the light。
Across the room； Serena was standing at the bar； wearing a long； gauzy silver dress； her golden
hair falling in gleaming tendrils down her bare back。 Her face was in profile； and her features were
so unbelievably gorgeous his breath caught in his chest。 He forced himself to shift his attention
back to Blair？his beautiful girlfriend； still wrapped in his arms。 The sight of her glowing； hopeful
face tore at his heart。 Yale。 He was going to Yale。 He should have been ecstatic； but he didn？t
know what to say or even what to feel。 He pulled her close and breathed in the familiar
honey…almond scent of her hair。 His chest felt tight； and suddenly it was hard to breathe。 Blair
nestled into him like there was no place she？d rather be。 ？I love you；？ he whispered into her hair；
hoping the words would ground him。 But now； more than ever before； Nate felt like a small
wooden dinghy set adrift。
Better start rowing； boy。
a yabba…dabba…doo time； we？ll have a gay ol？ time！
Vanessa Abrams staggered out of the Humphreys？ living room； her pale arms weighed down
with piles of old coffee…stained newspapers。 Her army green Triple 5 Soul cargo pants were rolled
up to the knees； and her fitted black Old Navy wifebeater was soaked in sweat。？God。？ She exhaled
heavily as she dumped a pile of decades…old New Yorkers in a large blue recycling bin； exposing
the dusty parquet floor beneath。 ？It？s amazing these piles of crap haven？t toppled over in the night；
killing us in our sleep。？
Dan Humphrey grunted in assent as he walked down the hall to the kitchen and washed out his
coffee…grit…encrusted blue plastic Evergreen mug for the third time that day。 He wouldn？t mind
being dead right about now。 They？d been cleaning out the Humphreys？ ramshackle； grime…coated
Upper West Side apartment for a grueling two hours； but it felt more like two days。 Dan just
wasn？t cut out for hard labor； and he could feel the heart palpitations ing on。 At least if he died
now； he？d die young； like his idol； the poet John Keats； which he always thought was sort of
romantic。
They could bury him beneath the Strand； a copy of Baudelaire？sFleurs du Mal over his ashen
face。 Maybe Vanessa would weep dramatically as she said her final goodbyes。 Or wait； maybe
Greg would。 This was one of the many problems with recently discovering you might be gay？it
was totally unclear whether your future widower would be your longtime ex…girlfriend or your
newish…maybe…boyfriend。
After he and Dan had shared a semi…conscious drunken kiss at their literary salon earlier in the
summer； Greg seemed to have decided two things： that Dan was gay； and that they were a couple。
Dan wasn？t sure how he felt about either of those conclusions； but he hadn？t had very long to
think about it； because Greg？s grandmother had passed away a few days later； and Greg had left
for Phoenix for the funeral and to spend time with his extended family。 He？d been gone nearly a
month； and in that time Greg had sent Dan dozens of beautifully crafted e…mails； all with the same
theme： absence makes the heart grow fonder。 But every time Dan wrote back； he wasn？t sure if he
was growing any fonder of Greg 。 。 。 or just more confused。
Dan tried to shake his uncertainty away。 ？I？m going to keep cleaning；？ he announced with a
sudden surge of determination； and marched into the living room with the purposeful steps of a
military general。
Dan in the army？ Don？t ask； don？t tell！
？Be my guest；？ Vanessa retorted as she threw another huge stack of newspapers into the
recycling bin。 ？As far as I？m concerned； it？s a lost cause。？ Earlier that summer； her older sister
Ruby had returned from Europe with her new Czech boyfriend； Piotr； in tow and had proceeded to
kick Vanessa out of the cozy Williamsburg apartment they？d shared for the last three years。
Thanks； sis！ Since then； Vanessa had been living in Dan？s sister Jenny？s room while Jenny was at
art school in Prague for the summer。 Since Dan was heading to Evergreen College in Washington
State in less than two weeks and Jenny would be off to boarding school in upstate New York； it
looked like Vanessa would be keeping her room in the Humphreys？ apartment when she started
NYU？after all； somebody had to keep Rufus； Dan and Jenny？s lesser…known Beat poet editor
father； pany。 So she？d decided to spend the weekend redecorating the totally dismal pad。 And
really； what better way to try out Dan？s newQueer Eye decorating skills？ If he even had any。 He
was so fresh out of the closet it was hard for her to believe it was really true。 But maybe that？s
because she didn？twant it to be true。
Didn？t she？
Dan closed his eyes； remembering the feel of Greg？s lips on his；