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really was beautiful。
？See？？ His mother leaned forward and prodded his knee with her turquoise…embellished
fingers。 ？Shelikes the cream filling。？ Dan quickly snapped out of his reverie and stood up。 ？Um；
well； we？re sort of filling up around here。 I guess if you want to take my room I could take the
couch？？ His mother stood up； holding onto her neck with one hand and rubbing
furiously。 ？Thecouch ？ Don？t be silly。 I mean； now that you？re 。 。 。 well； you know？？ Jeanette
broke off； waving her turquoise…laden hands in the air。 ？I mean；？ she began again； ？sharing
Vanessa？s room shouldn？t be a problem； right？ You girls can pillow talk all night！？ ？Sure；
um？yeah？that？s fine；？ Dan stammered； glancing over at Vanessa。 She looked a little surprised or
horrified？or maybe she was just trying to hold in her laughter after hearing Dan called a girl by his
own mother。
Jeanette stood on her tiptoes and kissed Dan on the top of his head； mussing his hair。 ？Dan； dear；
do you mind if I use your puter before I go to bed？ I just want to send off a few e…mails。
Don？t worry； I won？t download any granny porn！？ Without waiting for an answer； she flitted
toward
Dan？s room； whistling Gloria Gaynor？s ？I Will Survive？ pletely off…key。
Sure；she？ll survive。 But will Dan？
？Good night； ladies！？ they heard her trill as she closed the door to Dan？s room。
Dan swallowed hard； trying to hide his embarrassment。 He never would have imagined it
possible that four little words？specifically； the ones on his postcard to his sister that read； ？Dear
Jenny； I？m gay？？could cause so much trouble。 He went into the kitchen to find Vanessa； who was
now smearing pastry cream on the Formica tabletop； swirling it in intricate designs。 If he was
really gay； then how e he still thought about running his palms over the prickly hairs of
Vanessa？s shaved head； or seeing if the flesh on her stomach was still as soft and warm as bread
dough。
？So；roomie 。 Wanna go to bed？？ Vanessa raised one eyebrow mischievously； her lips curved into
a smirk。 Before Dan could answer； Vanessa stepped away from the countertop and walked into
Jenny？s old room； her bat boots slapping against the floor。
Dan could hear the snapping of sheets as Vanessa made the bed？something she rarely did。
Making the bed。 Did that mean she wanted him to e to bed？ But it was barely dark out。 Maybe
she was just tired of the apartment being such a total mess？ Dan？s head hurt。 It had been a long；
long day。 He sighed and walked into the room behind her。
？Hey； roomie；？ he parroted back to her； grabbing one corner of the sheet and pulling it tight
around the mattress。 Vanessa let go of her end of the sheet and threw a pillow at his head。 Was
sheflirting with him？ A fine sheen of sweat coated her face； and her cheeks were flushed； giving
her a radiant glow。 Dan resisted the urge to crawl across the bed and lightly kiss each apple red
cheek。
Right。 Sharing a room will bejust like a girly sleepover。 Dan waited to see what Vanessa would
do next； but then a shrill buzzing sound came from her pocket； startling them both。 He still wasn？t
used to Vanessa having a cell phone？she？d gotten one shortly after moving in with the Humphreys
so she could pay her own bill。 Probably a good thing； since Rufus was not known for his skill at
relaying messages。 Usually he left sticky notes on the fridge that read； A GUY CALLED； and then
the time of the call； to the minute？like that was helpful。
Vanessa dug for her phone； not all that thrilled with the interruption。 Flirting with Dan was so fun
now that he was supposedly gay。 She flipped open her phone。 ？Hello？？ ？Lil？ sis！？ ？Ruby？！？
Vanessa hadn？t spoken to her sister since she returned from Prague and kicked her out。 Fun times。
So why was she calling now？
？What？s up； girl！？？ Ruby yelled； sounding uncharacteristically manic。 ？God； it？s great to hear
your voice！？ ？Um； you too。 What？s going on？？ Vanessa tried to keep her voice neutral； but she
was still mad as hell at her sister and wasn？t about to forgive her without first receiving some
serious ass…kissing。 She crossed her arms over her chest； waiting for Ruby？s apology。 Maybe she
and Piotr had broken up and she wanted Vanessa to move back to Williamsburg and into her old
room。 She could almost smell the sweet； burnt scent of the sugar factory directly across the street
from their apartment。 Soon she？d be having breakfast at Eat and late…night coffee at Diner
surrounded by pale； skinny boys with hair that looked like it had been cut with a butter knife； her
days of decoding Dan？s flip…flopping sexuality finally over。 。 。 。
？Listen； V； I？m sorry I？ve been out of touch for so long； but I？ve just been really busy。 。 。 。？
Vanessa gripped the receiver with one hand and stuffed a pillow back into its case with the other。
Right。 She？d probably been busy holding Piotr？sbrush 。 Ick。 Vanessa shivered at her own
perverted thought and threw the pillow onto the almost…made bed。 Dan sat on the end of the bed；
eavesdropping and examining his fingernails in a typically gay way。
？Piotr？s working on a new series of paintings and he？s been using me as a model？I can？t wait for
you to see them。？ Scowling at the receiver； Vanessa stomped out of the room。 Okay； so Piotr was
still in the picture。 And presumably he was still using Vanessa？s room as his studio。 But maybe
Ruby wanted her to move back in anyway： she could get a cot or something。 She walked down the
long crumbly hallway to the kitchen and began to spoon granules of Folgers into a lumpy yellow
ceramic mug Dan？s mom had sent over from Europe ages ago。
？Um； sure； I？ll check the paintings out at some point。 。 。
。？ The last she？d heard about Piotr？s ？art；？ he？d been doing a series of paintings of ？monolithic
nudes and their canines。？ She pictured a huge canvas of Ruby naked； astride a slobbering German
shepherd。 Not exactly her idea of ？art。？ This from the girl who prefers photographs of dead
pigeons and spat…out gum？
？Anyway；？ Ruby went on； her voice as breathless as if she？d been running the 10K； ？That？s not
the reallybig news。 Are you sitting down？？ ？Yeah；？ Vanessa lied； distractedly placing her ceramic
cup in the microwave and setting the timer。
？We？re getting married！！！！！？
？What！？？Vanessa sank to the floor in front of the microwave； Folgers crystals scattering all over
the linoleum they？d just mopped this morning。Married？ ToPiotr ？ They？d just met a few months
ago！ He made paintings of naked women anddogs ！ And now he was going to befamily ？ There
was something seriously wrong with the world。
Just then Dan？s mom glided into the kitchen； wearing a diaphanous； floor…length pink dressing
gown embroidered with hundreds of exotic birds。 A pasty； fragrant white cream that smelled like
pound cake covered every inch of her face。 Her fuzzy pink slippers shuffled against the linoleum
floor。 ？Pardon me； I forgot to take my vitamin drink！？ Jeanette whispered； opening the refrigerator
and pouring a noxious…looking brown liquid into a Scooby…Doo glass。 ？Vitamins are nature？s gift
to us all！？ she trilled。 Vanessa just shook her head as Jeanette smacked her lips and started to walk
back to Dan？s room； drinking the disgusting…looking concoction and humming as she went。
？Vanessa？ Can you hear me？？ Ruby？s voice broke the silence。
？Um； yeah。 Whatever。 I mean； congratulations；？ Vanessa murmured into the phone。 She looked
up to see Dan standing in the doorway。 He shot her a quizzical look and mouthed； ？Are you okay？？
Vanessa just nodded and brought the phone closer to her ear。 Ruby was still chattering away
happily； totally oblivious to her less…than…peppy response。
？。 。 。 maid of honor；？ Vanessa heard her sister？s voice say over the low hum of the microwave。
She sat up straighter。 ？Maid ofwhat ？？ she asked incredulously。 ？Who are you？ Where？s my
sister？？ Ruby cackled。 ？e on； you know you？re dying to wear a big Laura Ashley dress。？
Vanessa got to her feet just as the microwave beeped noisily。 No fucking way。
？So； will you do it？？ Her sister？s voice rang in her ears。 Slowly； she removed the mug from the
microwave； handling it carefully so that the water wouldn？t spill over and burn her。 Although
maybe a third…degree burn would get her out of any wedding…related duties。
Tempting。
Vanessa sighed。 She knew she couldn？t say no to her sister； even if Piotr did have horrible teeth
and bestiality issues。
？Yeah； fine。 Whatever。 I？ll do it。？ She took a sip of scalding coffee and promptly spat it out all
over her cargo pants。 ？But only if I can wear my own clothes？there？s no way in hell I？m putting
on one of those totally gay pastel bridesmaid dresses。？ She glanced over at Dan； who had pulled
the hot pink silk jumpsuit out of one of his mom？s bags and was holding it in front of his skinny
body as if picturing what it would look like on。 She mouthed； ？Sorry；？ smiling weakly。 ？I mean； so
totallylame ；？ she said into the phone； wiping her thighs with a ratty brown kitchen towel。
Ruby laughed； and Vanessa could hear her mumbling to
Piotr in the background in some insane language sh