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That？s so weird？my family is actually moving from New York to L。A。 really soon。 It will be cool
to know someone if I？m forced to spend breaks there。
So 。 。 。 about me： I grew up in Manhattan on the Upper East Side and attended an all…girls school
called Constance Billard。 My mom married a moron and had a baby even though they？re like
ninety years old。 I named her Yale。 My parents are divorced and my dad lives in a chateau on a
vineyard in France。 He and his boyfriend just adopted Cambodian twins。 I can？t even talk about it。
Yes； I have a boyfriend？his name is Nate； and we？ve been togetherforever 。 This past summer we
borrowed his father？s yacht and sailed around for a month and fell totally in love all over again；
and lucky for you he？s ing to Yale； too。 Why so lucky？ Because you？ll get the room all to
yourself once Natie and I find a house together off…campus。 It？s all working out so perfectly I
could just scream with happiness。
See you soon！
Sincerely；
Blair
P。S。 But seriously； we can？t have cars oncampus？
to err is human； to forgive is against b？s rules
Blair surveyed the various Louis Vuitton trunks that surrounded her； the endless LV monograms
multiplying and making her feel dizzy。 She grabbed a stack of Fair Isle sweaters and held the soft
material to her cheek for a minute before throwing them into an empty trunk。 Looking around at
the half…packed trunks and suitcases； at Aaron？s old； smelly room in a state of total disarray； she
still couldn？t quite believe her family was really moving to California？or that she had to bring
every single piece of winter clothing she owned to Yale with her； since she？d never be able to
wear it in L。A。 anyway。 The whole process of packing some things for college and some things for
California was made all the more obnoxious by the fact that she had toship the trunks to Yale since
she wouldn？t be driving her beautiful bisque…colored BMW to school。 Why the fuck did Yale have
to change the rules about bringing a car the very yearshe was going there？ Blair sighed； flopping
down on the ugly hemp bedspread。 She couldn？t imagine anything more depressing than having to
take the freakingtrain to school。
Well； she could hitchhike。 That might be fun。
Blair closed her eyes and tried to picture what Thanksgiving and Christmas breaks would be like
in Los Angeles。 There would be no sledding in Central Park or walking up Fifth Avenue at
Christmastime with Serena； making fun of the tourists gawking at the Saks windows。 No more
ice…skating at Rockefeller Center with Nate under the enormous tree； a cloudy December sky
threatening snow overhead。 It was painfully sunny almost every day of the year in Los Angeles；
and there was practically no ozone layer； for God？s sake。 She？d have to slather herself in SPF 40
just to open a fucking window。
She sat up； grabbed a trunk； and began filling it with armloads of silk underwear。 If she and Nate
couldn？t share New York anymore； at least they？d have the perfect home together in New
Haven？maybe a little stone cottage close to campus with ivy climbing gaily up the gray stone
walls。 They would sit facing each other in front of a roaring fire； drinking gin and tonics and
studying。 She？d make flash cards to help him study for his economics exams； and they？d cook
dinner together every night； moving carefully around each other in the cozy kitchen。 Nate would
stop in the middle of carving the venison from the deer he？d shot himself on last weekend？s
hunting trip and take her in his arms； covering her with kisses until； dinner forgotten； he would lay
her down on the bearskin rug？from a bear he had killed and skinned？slowly peeling her clothes
from her body。 。 。 。
Blair dropped the pair of black cropped Gucci jodhpurs she was holding and grabbed her cell；
hitting speed dial number 3。 Nate？s phone went straight to voice mail 。 。 。 again。 She threw the
phone onto the cat…pee…stained； sea…grass…mat…covered floor and it went skittering into the
corner。Wherewas he？
Then the door opened and Nate walked in； as if on cue。 Blair jumped to her feet and threw
herself into his arms； purring against his chest。 ？I just called you！？ She wrapped her arms around
him and squeezed tight； breathing in the scent of summer and his slightly sweaty armpits。 But
Nate didn？t seem to be hugging her back。 She pulled back ever so slightly and looked up into his
face。 He looked serious？and Nate never looked serious。
Uh…oh。
？What？s wrong？？ Blair demanded； her brow furrowing。 Without waiting for an answer she
turned around and began folding pairs of jeans； working methodically。 If she kept busy； maybe she
wouldn？t have an aneurysm。 What the fuck was going on？
？I have to tell you something； Blair。？ Nate？s voice was shaking。 ？There？s something important
I？ve been keeping from you。？ Blair？s heart bumped crazily in her chest。 He looked so totallywhite
under his tan。 Seeing him so obviously upset made her even more nervous。 She sat down on a
closed trunk and waited。 Had Serena finally told Nate she was in love with him？ Did he love
Serena back？ Werethey going to run off to France together to adopt Cambodian twins？
？I didn？t get my diploma；？ Nate blurted in a rush； as if hoping she might not catch the words。 ？I
have to repeat senior year at St。 Jude？s。？ Blair grabbed the edge of the trunk she was sitting on
with white fingers； staring at him unprehendingly。
？I can？t go to Yale with you。？ He clarified。 ？I？m so sorry。？
？What？？ Blair screeched in disbelief。 She stood up； fingers clenched into fists at her sides。 ？What
did you say？？ Nate？s face was an infuriating blank。 The whole room seemed to go red。 Seriously？
Was thisseriously happening？ First her best friend betrayed her； then her family abandoned their
fucking home； then her car was practically ripped away from her； and now the supposed love of
her life was making her go off to college without him because he wasstuck in high school？ Was
this seriously fuckinghappening？
？WHAT THE HELL； NATE！？？ she screamed； throwing a pair of black alligator Manolos across
the room； narrowly missing his head。
Love hurts！
Blair？s head filled with static。 Nate wasn？t going to Yale with her？he was staying right here in
New York？in the city where very soon she would no longer have a home。 He might as well have
told her that hewas in love with Serena？the end result was still the same。 She and Nate would be
apart next year； living totally separate lives。 How were they supposed to live happily ever after the
way they were destined to if he was still inhigh school ？ Blair was breathing so fast her head felt
light and dizzy。
？I？ll； um 。 。 。 I？ll call you later；？ Nate said unfortably； looking down at the carpet。 His
shoulders rose in a deep； shuddering sigh。 ？When you？re a little more calm。？ Which might be
never。
？What do you want me to say； Nate？ Congratu…freakinglations？ Hey； at least you can call me to
help you with yourhomework ？！？ Blair screamed as he opened the door and closed it softly behind
him。
Don？t go giving him any ideas。 。 。 。
TO： caligirl90210@gmail。
FROM： Bwaldorf@constancebillard。edu
Subject： re： We？re Roomies！
Dear Alana；
P。P。S。 Forget every fucking thing I just said。 I hope you？re at least a semi…fucking normal human
being； because no one else in my life is。
See you soon。
Blair
tangled up in s
Nate walked out of Blair？s apartment building and onto Fifth Avenue； grateful for the
anonymous noise and clamor of the busy street。 At least no one was yelling at him out here。 He
knew that she wouldn？t take the news that he wasn？t going to Yale with her well or anything； but
he hadn？t expected it to bethat bad。 He stopped on the corner and pulled out a pack of cigarettes。
He was tempted by the tightly rolled emergency joint he？d shoved in the back； but pulled out a
Parliament instead and lit the tip； his hands shaking。
He was trying to think with his balls like Chips said。 He？d thought that if he just came clean to
her； everything would just fall into place。 Sure； he？d be in Manhattan for an extra year； but they？d
see each other every weekend。 It wasn？t like hewanted to stay behind in the city while Blair and
Serena？his girls？were up in New Haven。
Nate exhaled a cloud of smoke and started walking uptown； not knowing or caring where he was
headed。 Thinking with his balls was totally overrated。 All he really needed was to talk to someone
who actually cared about him； someone who knew him better than anyone。 The problem was； that
person had just thrown a pair of shoes at his head。
He stopped in his tracks and looked up at the tall stone building in front of him at Eighty…first
and Fifth Avenue； almost across from the Metropolitan Museum of Art。 His feet had led him right
to Serena？s doorstep。 As he stared up at the gauzy； white curtains covering the windows of the
top…floor apartment； Nate wondered if she was home。 He walked into the lobby and raised his
hand to the doorman； who smiled and waved him through。
As he rode up in the wood…paneled elevator； Nate wasn？t sure wha