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〃To the Empire。〃
〃Who with？〃
〃By myself。 I came home with Tom Cooper。〃
She looked at him； and wondered what he had been doing She
was indifferent as to whether he lied or not。
〃You have e home very strange；〃 she said。 And there was an
appreciative inflexion in the speech。
He was not affected。 As for his humble； good self； he was
absolved from it。 He sat down and ate heartily。 He was not
tired。 He seemed to take no notice of her。
For Anna the moment was critical。 She kept herself aloof； and
watched him。 He talked to her； but with a little indifference；
since he was scarcely aware of her。 So； then she did not affect
him。 Here was a new turn of affairs！ He was rather attractive；
nevertheless。 She liked him better than the ordinary mute；
half…effaced； half…subdued man she usually knew him to be。 So；
he was blossoming out into his real self！ It piqued her。 Very
good； let him blossom！ She liked a new turn of affairs。 He was a
strange man e home to her。 Glancing at him； she saw she could
not reduce him to what he had been before。 In an instant she
gave it up。 Yet not without a pang of rage； which would insist
on their old； beloved love； their old； accustomed intimacy and
her old； established supremacy。 She almost rose up to fight for
them。 And looking at him； and remembering his father； she was
wary。 This was the new turn of affairs！
Very good； if she could not influence him in the old way； she
would be level with him in the new。 Her old defiant hostility
came up。 Very good； she too was out on her own adventure。 Her
voice； her manner changed； she was ready for the game。 Something
was liberated in her。 She liked him。 She liked this strange man
e home to her。 He was very wele； indeed！ She was very glad
to wele a stranger。 She had been bored by the old husband。 To
his latent； cruel smile she replied with brilliant challenge。 He
expected her to keep the moral fortress。 Not she！ It was much
too dull a part。 She challenged him back with a sort of
radiance； very bright and free； opposite to him。 He looked at
her； and his eyes glinted。 She too was out in the field。
His senses pricked up and keenly attended to her。 She
laughed； perfectly indifferent and loose as he was。 He came
towards her。 She neither rejected him nor responded to him。 In a
kind of radiance； superb in her inscrutability； she laughed
before him。 She too could throw everything overboard； love；
intimacy； responsibility。 What were her four children to her
now？ What did it matter that this man was the father of her four
children？
He was the sensual male seeking his pleasure； she was the
female ready to take hers： but in her own way。 A man could turn
into a free lance： so then could a woman。 She adhered as little
as he to the moral world。 All that had gone before was nothing
to her。 She was another woman； under the instance of a strange
man。 He was a stranger to her； seeking his own ends。 Very good。
She wanted to see what this stranger would do now； what he
was。
She laughed； and kept him at arm's length； whilst apparently
ignoring him。 She watched him undress as if he were a stranger。
Indeed he was a stranger to her。
And she roused him profoundly； violently； even before he
touched her。 The little creature in Nottingham had but been
leading up to this。 They abandoned in one motion the moral
position； each was seeking gratification pure and simple。
Strange his wife was to him。 It was as if he were a perfect
stranger； as if she were infinitely and essentially strange to
him； the other half of the world； the dark half of the moon。 She
waited for his touch as if he were a marauder who had e in；
infinitely unknown and desirable to her。 And he began to
discover her。 He had an inkling of the vastness of the unknown
sensual store of delights she was。 With a passion of
voluptuousness that made him dwell on each tiny beauty； in a
kind of frenzy of enjoyment； he lit upon her： her beauty； the
beauties； the separate； several beauties of her body。
He self； and sensually transported
by that which he discovered in her。 He was another man revelling
over her。 There was no tenderness； no love between them any
more； only the maddening； sensuous lust for discovery and the
insatiable； exorbitant gratification in the sensual beauties of
her body。 And she was a store； a store of absolute beauties that
it drove him to contemplate。 There was such a feast to enjoy；
and he with only one man's capacity。
He lived in a passion of sensual discovery with her for some
time……it was a duel： no love； no words； no kisses even；
only the maddening perception of beauty consummate； absolute
through touch。 He wanted to touch her； to discover her；
maddeningly he wanted to know her。 Yet he must not hurry； or he
missed everything。 He must enjoy one beauty at a time。 And the
multitudinous beauties of her body； the many little rapturous
places； sent him mad with delight； and with desire to be able to
know more； to have strength to know more。 For all was there。
He would say during the daytime：
〃To…night I shall know the little hollow under her ankle；
where the blue vein crosses。〃 And the thought of it； and the
desire for it； made a thick darkness of anticipation。
He would go all the day waiting for the night to e； when
he could give himself to the enjoyment of some luxurious
absolute of beauty in her。 The thought of the hidden resources
of her； the undiscovered beauties and ecstatic places of delight
in her body； waiting； only waiting for him to discover them；
sent him slightly insane。 He was obsessed。 If he did not
discover and make known to himself these delights； they might be
lost for ever。 He wished he had a hundred men's energies； with
which to enjoy her。 ＇He wished he were a cat； to lick her with a
rough； grating； lascivious tongue。 He wanted to wallow in her；
bury himself in her flesh； cover himself over with her flesh。＇
And she； separate； with a strange； dangerous； glistening look
in her eyes received all his activities upon her as if they were
expected by her； and provoked him ore；
till sometimes he was ready to perish for sheer inability to be
satisfied of her； inability to have had enough of her。
Their children became mere offspring to them； they lived in
the darkness and death of their own sensual activities。
Sometimes he felt he was going mad with a sense of Absolute
Beauty； perceived by him in her through his senses。 It was
something too much for him。 And in everything； was this same；
almost sinister； terrifying beauty。 But in the revelations of
her body through contact with his body； was the ultimate beauty；
to know which was almost death in itself； and yet for the
knowledge of which he would have undergone endless torture。 He
would have forfeited anything； anything； rather than forego his
right even to the instep of her foot； and the place from which
the toes radiated out； the little； miraculous white plain from
which ran the little hillocks of the toes； and the folded；
dimpling hollows between the toes。 He felt he would have died
rather than forfeit this。
This was what their love had bee； a sensuality violent and
extreme as death。 They had no conscious intimacy； no tenderness
of love。 It was all the lust and the infinite； maddening
intoxication of the sense； a passion of death。
He had always； all his life； had a secret dread of Absolute
Beauty。 It had always been like a fetish to him； something to
fear； really。 For it was immoral and against mankind。 So he had
turned to the Gothic form； which always asserted the broken
desire of mankind in its pointed arches； escaping the rolling；
absolute beauty of the round arch。
But now he had given way； and with infinite sensual violence
gave himself to the realization of this supreme； immoral；
Absolute Beauty； in the body of woman。 It seemed to him； that it
came to being in the body of woman； under his touch。 Under his
touch； even under his sight； it was there。 But when he neither
saw nor touched the perfect place； it was not perfect； it was
not there。 And he must make it exist。
But still the thing terrified him。 Awful and threatening it
was； dangerous to a degree； even whilst he gave himself to it。
It was pure darkness； also。 All the shameful things of the body
revealed themselves to him now with a sort of sinister； tropical
beauty。 All the shameful； natural and unnatural acts of sensual
voluptuousness which he and the woman partook of together；
created together； they had their heavy beauty and their delight。
Shame； what was it？ It was part of extreme delight。 It was that
part of delight of which man is usually afraid。 Why afraid？ The
secret； shameful things are most terribly beautiful。
They accepted shame； and were one with it in their most
unlicensed pleasures。 It was incorporated。 It was a bud that
blossomed into beauty and heavy； fundamental gratification。
Their outward life went on much the same； but the inward life
was revolutionized。 The children became less important； the
parents were absorbed in their own living。
And gradually； Brangwen began to find himself free to attend
to the outside life as well。 His intimate life was so violently
active； that it set another man i