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〃We say bathing； not bading；〃 said the mother； with her
strange； indifferent dignity。 〃I am waiting here with your
shirt。〃
At length shirts were on； and stockings were paired； and
little trousers buttoned and little petticoats tied behind。 The
besetting cowardice of the family was its shirking of the garter
question。
〃Where are your garters； Cassie？〃
〃I don't know。〃
〃Well； look for them。〃
But not one of the elder Brangwens would really face the
situation。 After Cassie had grovelled under all the furniture
and blacked up all her Sunday cleanliness； to the infinite grief
of everybody； the garter was forgotten in the new washing of the
young face and hands。
Later； Ursula would be indignant to see Miss Cassie marching
into church from Sunday school with her stocking sluthered down
to her ankle； and a grubby knee showing。
〃It's disgraceful！〃 cried Ursula at dinner。 〃People will
think we're pigs； and the children are never washed。〃
〃Never mind what people think；〃 said the mother superbly。 〃I
see that the child is bathed properly； and if I satisfy myself I
satisfy everybody。 She can't keep her stocking up and no garter；
and it isn't the child's fault she was let to go without
one。〃
The garter trouble continued in varying degrees； but till
each child wore long skirts or long trousers； it was not
removed。
On this day of decorum； the Brangwen family went to church by
the high…road； making a detour outside all the garden…hedge；
rather than climb the wall into the churchyard。 There was no law
of this； from the parents。 The children themselves were the
wardens of the Sabbath decency； very jealous and instant with
each other。
It came to be； gradually； that after church on Sundays the
house was really something of a sanctuary； with peace breathing
like a strange bird alighted in the rooms。 Indoors； only reading
and tale…telling and quiet pursuits； such as drawing； were
allowed。 Out of doors； all playing was to be carried on
unobtrusively。 If there were noise； yelling or shouting； then
some fierce spirit woke up in the father and the elder children；
so that the younger were subdued； afraid of being
exmunicated。
The children themselves preserved the Sabbath。 If Ursula in
her vanity sang：
〃Il etait un' bergere
Et ron…ron…ron petit patapon；〃
Theresa was sure to cry：
〃That's not a Sunday song； our Ursula。〃
〃You don't know；〃 replied Ursula； superior。 Nevertheless； she
wavered。 And her song faded down before she came to the end。
Because； though she did not know it； her Sunday was very
precious to her。 She found herself in a strange； undefined
place； where her spirit could wander in dreams； unassailed。
The white…robed spirit of Christ passed between olive trees。
It was a vision； not a reality。 And she herself partook of the
visionary being。 There was the voice in the night calling；
〃Samuel； Samuel！〃 And still the voice called in the night。 But
not this night； nor last night； but in the unfathomed night of
Sunday； of the Sabbath silence。
There was Sin； the serpent； in whom was also wisdom。 There
was Judas with the money and the kiss。
But there was no actual Sin。 If Ursula slapped Theresa
across the face； even on a Sunday； that was not Sin； the
everlasting。 It was misbehaviour。 If Billy played truant from
Sunday school； he was bad； he was wicked； but he was not a
Sinner。
Sin was absolute and everlasting： wickedness and badness were
temporary and relative。 When Billy； catching up the local
jargon； called Cassie a 〃sinner〃； everybody detested him。 Yet
when there came to the Marsh a flippetty…floppetty foxhound
puppy； he was mischievously christened 〃Sinner〃。
The Brangwens shrank from applying their religion to their
own immediate actions。 They wanted the sense of the eternal and
immortal； not a list of rules for everyday conduct。 Therefore
they were badly…behaved children； headstrong and arrogant；
though their feelings were generous。 They had；
moreover……intolerable to their ordinary neighbours……a
proud gesture； that did not fit with the jealous idea of the
democratic Christian。 So that they were always extraordinary；
outside of the ordinary。
How bitterly Ursula resented her first acquaintance with
evangelical teachings。 She got a peculiar thrill from the
application of salvation to her own personal case。 〃Jesus died
for me； He suffered for me。〃 There was a pride and a thrill in
it； followed almost immediately by a sense of dreariness。 Jesus
with holes in His hands and feet： it was distasteful to her。 The
shadowy Jesus with the Stigmata： that was her own vision。 But
Jesus the actual man； talking with teeth and lips； telling one
to put one's finger into His wounds； like a villager gloating in
his sores； repelled her。 She was enemy of those who insisted on
the humanity of Christ。 If He were just a man； living in
ordinary human life； then she was indifferent。
But it was the jealousy of vulgar people which must insist on
the humanity of Christ。 It was the vulgar mind which would allow
nothing extra…human； nothing beyond itself to exist。 It was the
dirty； desecrating hands of the revivalists which wanted to drag
Jesus into this everyday life； to dress Jesus up in trousers and
frock…coat； to pel Him to a vulgar equality of footing。 It
was the impudent suburban soul which would ask； 〃What would
Jesus do； if he were in my shoes？〃
Against all this； the Brangwens stood at bay。 If any one； it
was the mother who was caught by； or who was most careless of
the vulgar clamour。 She would have nothing extra…human。 She
never really subscribed； all her life； to Brangwen's mystical
passion。
But Ursula was with her father。 As she became adolescent；
thirteen； fourteen； she set more and more against her mother's
practical indifference。 To Ursula； there was something callous；
almost wicked in her mother's attitude。 What did Anna Brangwen；
in these years； care for God or Jesus or Angels？ She was the
immediate life of to…day。 Children were still being born to her；
she was throng with all the little activities of her family。 And
almost instinctively she resented her husband's slavish service
to the Church； his dark； subject hankering to worship an unseen
God。 What did the unrevealed God matter； when a man had a young
family that needed fettling for？ Let him attend to the immediate
concerns of his life； not go projecting himself towards the
ultimate。
But Ursula was all for the ultimate。 She was always in revolt
against babies and muddled domesticity。 To her Jesus was another
world； He was not of this world。 He did not thrust His hands
under her face and； pointing to His wounds； say：
〃Look； Ursula Brangwen； I got these for your sake。 Now do as
you're told。〃
To her； Jesus was beautifully remote； shining in the
distance； like a white moon at sunset； a crescent moon beckoning
as it follows the sun； out of our ken。 Sometimes dark clouds
standing very far off； pricking up into a clear yellow band of
sunset； of a winter evening； reminded her of Calvary； sometimes
the full moon rising blood…red upon the hill terrified her with
the knowledge that Christ was now dead； hanging heavy and dead
upon the Cross。
On Sundays； this visionary world came to pass。 She heard the
long hush； she knew the marriage of dark and light was taking
place。 In church； the Voice sounded； re…echoing not from this
world； as if the Church itself were a shell that still spoke the
language of creation。
〃The Sons of God saw the daughters of men that they were
fair： and they took them wives of all which they chose。
〃And the Lord said； My spirit shall not always strive with
Man； for that he also is flesh； yet his days shall be an hundred
and twenty years。
〃There were giants in the earth in those days； and also after
that； when the Sons of God came in unto the daughters of men；
and they bare children unto them； the same became mighty men
which were of old； men of renown。〃
Over this Ursula was stirred as by a call from far off。 In
those days； would not the Sons of God have found her fair； would
she not have been taken to wife by one of the Sons of God？ It
was a dream that frightened her； for she could not understand
it。
Who were the sons of God？ Was not Jesus the only begotten
Son？ Was not Adam the only man created from God？ Yet there were
men not begotten by Adam。 Who were these； and whence did they
e？ They too must derive from God。 Had God many offspring；
besides Adam and besides Jesus； children whose origin the
children of Adam cannot recognize？ And perhaps these children；
these sons of God； had known no expulsion； no ignominy of the
fall。
These came on free feet to the daughters of men； and saw they
were fair； and took them to wife； so that the women conceived
and brought forth men of renown。 This was a genuine fate。 She
moved about in the essential days； when the sons of God came in
unto the daughters of men。
Nor would any parison of myths destroy her passion in the
knowledge。 Jove had bee a bull； or a man； in order to love a
mortal woman。 He had begotten in her a giant； a hero。
Very good； so he had； in Greece。 For herself； she was no
Grecian woman。 Not Jove nor Pan nor any of those go