按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
spent the whole time chasing or being chased by boys and girls； so
they’d never really had time to talk。
Serena picked up the phone again and pressed the speed…dial
button for her brother’s off…campus apartment。 The phone rang and
rang until finally the voicemail system picked up。
“If you would like to leave a message for Dillon； press one。 If you
would like to leave a message for Tim； press two。 If you would like
to leave a message for Drew； press three。 If you would like to leave
a message for Erik； press four。”
Serena pressed four and then hesitated。 “ 。 。 。 Hey 。 。 。 it’s Serena。
Sorry I haven’t called in a while。 But you could have called me too；
you big jerk。 I was stuck up in Ridgefield； bored out of my mind；
until this weekend； and now I’m back in the city。 I had my first day
of school today。 It was kind of strange。 Actually it sucked。 Everyone
is 。 。 。 everything is 。 。 。 I don’t know 。 。 。 it’s weird。 。 。 。 Anyway； call
me。 I miss your hairy ass。 I’ll send you a care…package as soon as I
get a chance。 Love you。 Bye。”
“You’re so full of shit； Dan；” Jenny Humphrey told her brother。 They
were sitting at the kitchen table in their large and crumbling tenth…
floor； four…bedroom West End Avenue apartment。 It was a beautiful
old place with twelve…foot ceilings； lots of sunny windows； big walk…
in closets； and huge bathtubs with feet； but it hadn’t been
renovated since the 1940s。 The walls were waterstained and
cracked； and the wood floors were scratched and dull。 Ancient；
mammoth dust bunnies had gathered in the corners and along the
baseboards like moss。 Once in a while Jenny and Dan’s father； Rufus
Humphrey； hired a cleaning service to scrub the place down； and
their enormous cat； Marx； kept the cockroaches in order； but most
of the time their home felt like a cozy； neglected attic。 It was the
kind of place where you’d expect to find lost treasures like ancient
photographs； vintage shoes； or a bone from last year’s Christmas
dinner。
Jenny was eating half a grapefruit and drinking a cup of peppermint
tea。 Ever since she’d gotten her period last spring； she’d been
eating less and less。 Everything she ate went straight to her boobs；
anyway。 Dan worried about his little sister’s eating habits； but Jenny
was as spunky and energetic as ever； so what did he know？ For
instance； he didn’t know that Jenny bought a toasted； buttered；
chocolate…chip scone almost every day on her way to school at a
little gourmet deli on Broadway。
Not exactly a great strategy for breast reduction。
Dan was eating an Entenmann’s chocolate donut—his second—and
sipping instant coffee with Coffee…mate and four teaspoons of sugar。
He liked sugar and caffeine； which was probably part of the reason
why his hands shook。 Dan wasn’t into being healthy。 He liked to live
on the edge。
While he ate； Dan was studying Vanessa Abrams’s script for her
short film； the film he was supposed to star in。 He kept reading the
same line； over and over； like a mantra： Life is fragile and absurd。
“Tell me you don’t care about Serena van der Woodsen being back；”
Jenny challenged Dan。 She put a piece of grapefruit in her mouth
and sucked on it。 Then she stuck her fingers in her mouth； pulled
out the white pulpy skin stuff； and put it on her plate。 “You should
see her；” she went on。 “She looks so pletely cool。 It’s like she
has this whole new look。 I don’t mean her clothes； it’s her face。 She
looks older； but it’s not like wrinkles or anything。 It’s like she’s Kate
Moss or some model who’s like； been everywhere and seen
everything and e out on the other side。 She looks like she’s
totally； like； experienced。”
Jenny waited for her brother to respond； but he was just staring into
his coffee cup。
Life is fragile and absurd。
“Don’t you even want to see her？” Jenny asked。
Dan thought about what he’d heard Chuck Bass say about Serena。
He hadn’t wanted to believe any of it； but if Serena looked as
experienced as Jenny said； maybe what Chuck said was true。 Maybe
Serena really was the sluttiest； druggiest； most venereally diseased
girl in New York。
Dan shrugged his shoulders and pointed at the pile of grapefruit
carcasses on Jenny’s plate。 “That is so foul；” he said。 “Can’t you just
eat a Pop…Tart or something； like a normal person？”
“What’s wrong with grapefruit？” Jenny said。 “It’s refreshing。”
“Watching you eat it like that isn’t。 It’s disgusting；” Dan said。 He
stuffed the rest of his donut in his mouth and licked the chocolate
off his fingers； being careful not to smudge any on his script。
“Don’t look； then；” said Jenny。 “Anyway； you didn’t answer my
question。”
Dan looked up。 “What question？”
Jenny put her elbows on the table and leaned forward。 “About
Serena；” she said。 “I know you want to see her。”
Dan looked back down at his script and shrugged。 “Whatever；” he
said。
“Yeah； whatever；” said Jenny； rolling her eyes。 “Look； there’s this
party the Friday after next。 It’s some big fancy benefit thing to save
the peregrine falcons that live in Central Park。 Did you know there
were falcons in Central Park？ I didn’t。 Anyway； Blair Waldorf is
organizing it； and you know she and Serena are best friends； so of
course Serena will be there。”
Dan kept reading his script； pletely ignoring his sister。 And
Jenny went on； ignoring the fact that Dan was ignoring her。
“Anyway； all we have to do is find a way to get into that party；”
Jenny said。 She grabbed a paper napkin off the table； scrunched it
into a ball； and threw it at her brother’s head。 “Dan； please；” she
said pleadingly。 “We have to go！”
Dan tossed the script aside and looked at his sister； his brown eyes
serious and sad。
“Jenny；” he said。 “I don’t want to go to that party。 Next Friday night
I’m probably going over to Deke’s house to use his PlayStation； and
then I’ll probably head over to Brooklyn to hang out with Vanessa
and her sister and their friends。 Just like I do every Friday night。”
Jenny kicked at the legs of her chair like a little girl。 “But why； Dan？
Why won’t you go to the party？”
Dan shook his head； smiling bitterly。 “Because we weren’t invited？
Because we’re not going to be invited？ Give it up； Jen。 I’m sorry； but
that’s just the way it is。 We’re different from them； you know that。
We don’t live in the same world as Serena van der Woodsen or Blair
Waldorf or any of those people。”
“Oh； you’re such a wimp！ You drive me crazy；” Jen said； rolling her
eyes。 She stood up and dumped her dishes in the sink； scrubbing at
them furiously with a Brillo pad。 Then she whirled around and put
her hands on her hips。 She was wearing a pink flannel nightshirt
and her curly brown hair was sticking out all over because she had
gone to sleep with it wet。 She looked like a mini disgruntled
housewife with boobs that were ten times too big for her body。
“I don’t care what you say。 I’m going to that party！” she insisted。
“What party？” their father asked； appearing in the doorway to the
kitchen。
If there were an award for the most embarrassing dad in the
universe； Rufus Humphrey would have won it。 He was wearing a
sweat…stained white wife…beater and red checked boxer shorts； and
was scratching at his crotch。 He hadn’t shaved in a few days； and
his gray beard seemed to be growing at different intervals。 Some of
it was thick and long； but in between were bald patches and
patches of five o’clock shadow。 His curly gray hair was matted and
his brown eyes bleary。 There was a cigarette tucked behind each of
his ears。
Jenny and Dan looked at their father for a moment in silence。
Then Jenny sighed and turned back to the dishes。 “Never mind；”
she said。
Dan smirked and leaned back in his chair。 Their father hated the
Upper East Side and all its pretensions。 He only sent Jenny to
Constance because it was a very good school and because he used
to date one of the English teachers there。 But he hated the idea
that Jenny might be influenced by her classmates； or “those
debutantes；” as he called them。
Dan knew their dad was going to love this。
“Jenny wants to go to some fancy benefit next week；” he said。
Mr。 Humphrey pulled one of the cigarettes from behind his ear and
stuck it in his mouth； playing with it between his lips。 “A benefit for
what？” he demanded。
Dan rocked his chair back and forth； a smug look on his face。 Jenny
turned off the faucet and glared at him； daring him to go on。
“Get this；” Dan said。 “It’s a party to raise money for those peregrine
falcons that live in Central Park。 They’re probably going to build like；
birdhouse mansions for them or something。 Like there aren’t
thousands of homeless people that could use the money。”
“Oh； shut up；” Jenny said； furious。 “You think you know everything。
It’s just a stupid party。 I never said it was a great cause。”
“You call that a cause？” her father bellowed。 “Shame on you。 Those
people only want those birds around because they’re pretty。
Because it makes them feel like the