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people only want those birds around because they’re pretty。
Because it makes them feel like they’re in the pretty countryside；
like they’re at their houses in Connecticut or Maine。 They’re
decorative。 Leave it to the leisure class to e up with some
charity that does absolutely no one any good at all！”
Jenny leaned back against the kitchen counter； stared up at the
ceiling； and tuned her father out。 She’d heard this same tirade
before。 It didn’t change anything。 She still wanted to go to that
party。
“I just want to have some fun；” she said stubbornly。 “Why does it
have to be such a big deal？”
“It’s a big deal because you’re going to get used to this silly
debutante nonsense； and you’re going to wind up a big fake like
your mother； who hangs around rich people all the time because
she’s too scared to think for herself；” her father shouted； his
unshaven face turning dark red。 “Dammit； Jenny。 You remind me
more and more of your mother every day。”
Dan suddenly felt bad。
Their mother had run off to Prague with some count or prince or
something； and she was basically a kept woman； letting the count
or prince or whatever he was dress her and put her up in hotels all
over Europe。 All she did all day was shop； eat； drink； and paint
pictures of flowers。 She wrote them letters a few times a year； and
sent them the odd present。 Last Christmas she’d sent Jenny a
peasant dress from Germany。 It was about ten sizes too small。
It wasn’t a nice thing for their father to say that Jenny reminded him
of their mother。 It wasn’t nice at all。
Jenny looked like she was about to cry。
“Lay off； Dad；” Dan said。 “We weren’t invited to the party anyway。
So neither of us could go even if we wanted to。”
“See what I mean！” Mr。 Humphrey said triumphantly。 “Why would
you want to hang out with those snobs anyway？”
Jenny stared glassy…eyed at the dirty kitchen floor。
Dan stood up。 “Hurry up and get dressed； Jen；” he said gently。 “I’ll
walk you to your bus stop。”
In the six…minute interval between the bell signaling the end of Latin
and the bell signaling the beginning of Gym； Nate slipped into the
puter lab at the St。 Jude’s School for Boys。 Every Wednesday；
he and Blair had grown accustomed to e…mailing each other a quick
love note （okay； it was Blair’s idea）； to help them get over the hump
of the boring school week。 Only two more days until the weekend；
when they could spend as much time together as they wanted。
But today Nate wasn’t even thinking of Blair。 He wanted to see how
Serena was doing。 Last night she had left a message on the
answering machine in his room while he was watching a Yankees
game with his friends。 Her voice had sounded lonely and sad and
very far away； even though she lived only a block and a half away
from him。 Nate had never heard Serena sound so down。 And since
when did Serena van der Woodsen go to bed early？
Nate sat down in front of one of the humming PCs in the lab。 He
clicked on the New Mail window and typed a message to Serena’s
old Constance e…mail address。 He didn’t know if she would check it
or not； but it was worth a try。
TO： serenavdw@constancebillard。edu FROM：
narchibald@stjudes。edu
Hey。 What are you up to？ I got your message last night。 Sorry I
wasn’t there。 I will definitely see you Friday； okay？ Love； Nate。
Then he opened up his own e…mail。 Surprise； surprise； there was a
note from Blair。 They hadn’t talked since her mother’s party the
night before last。
TO： narchibald@stjudes。edu FROM： blairw@constancebillard。edu
Dear Nate。 I miss you。 Monday night was supposed to be really
special。 Before we got interrupted I was planning for us to do
something we’ve been talking about doing for a while。 I think you
know what I’m talking about。 The timing wasn’t right； I guess。 I just
wanted to tell you that I’m ready to do it。 I wasn’t ready before； but
now I am。 My Mom and Cyrus are going away on Friday and I really
want you to sleep over。 I love you。 Call me。
Love； Blair。
Nate read Blair’s e…mail twice and then closed the file so he
wouldn’t have to look at it anymore。 It was only Wednesday。 Was it
possible that Blair could remain ignorant about him and Serena until
Friday； even though she was in school with Serena every day and
they were best friends and told each other everything？ Chances
were； no。 And what about Chuck Bass？ He wasn’t exactly good at
keeping secrets。
Nate rubbed his pretty green eyes viciously。 It didn’t matter how
Blair found out。 Any way he looked at it； he was fucked。 He tried to
e up with a plan； but the only plan he could think of was to wait
and see what happened when he saw Blair on Friday night。 There
was no point in getting all worked up about it now。
Just then the door to the puter lab opened； and Jeremy Scott
Tompkinson poked his head around the door。
“Yo； Nathaniel； we’re cutting Gym。 e to the park with us and
play some ball。”
The second bell rang。 Nate was late for Gym anyway； and after Gym
he had lunch。 Cutting sounded like an excellent idea。
“Yeah； sure；” Nate said。 “Hold on a sec。” He clicked on Blair’s e…mail
and dragged it across the screen and into the trash。 “Okay；” he
said； standing up。 “Let’s go。”
Hmmm； if he really loved her； he probably would’ve saved the e…
mail； or at least answered it； right？
It was a sunny October day in Central Park。 Out in Sheep Meadow
lots of kids were cutting school； just lying in the grass； smoking； or
playing Frisbee。 The trees surrounding the meadow were a blaze of
yellows； oranges； and reds； and beyond the trees loomed the
beautiful old apartment buildings on Central Park West。 A guy was
selling weed； and Anthony Avuldsen bought some to add to what
Nate had picked up at the pizza place yesterday at lunch。 Nate；
Jeremy； Anthony； and Charlie Dern passed an enormous joint
between them as they dribbled a soccer ball around on the grass。
Charlie puffed on the joint and passed it to Jeremy。 Nate shot him
the ball and Charlie tripped over it。 He was six feet tall； and his
head was too big for his body。 People called him Frankenstein。 Ever
the blond athletic one； even when he was stoned； Anthony dove for
the ball； kicked it up in the air and headed it at Jeremy。 It hit Jeremy
in his puny chest and he let it roll to the ground； dribbling it
between his feet。
“Shit； this stuff is strong；” Jeremy said； hitching up his pants。 They
were always sliding down below his skinny hips； no matter how
tightly he buckled his belt。
“Yeah； it is；” Nate agreed。 “I’m all fucked up。” His feet were itchy。 It
felt like the grass was growing through the rubber soles of his
sneakers。
Jeremy stopped dribbling the ball。 “Hey； Nate。 Have you seen
Serena van der Woodsen yet？” he asked。 “I heard she’s back。”
Nate looked at the ball longingly； wishing he had it so he could
dribble it away across the field and pretend he hadn’t heard
Jeremy’s question。 He could feel the other three boys staring at him。
He bent down and pulled his left shoe off so he could scratch the
bottom of his foot。 Damn； it itched。 “Yeah； I saw her Monday；” he
said casually； hopping up and down on one foot。
Charlie cleared his throat and spit in the grass。 “What’d she look
like？” he asked。 “I heard she got into all sorts of trouble up at
Hanover。”
“Me too；” Anthony said； sucking on the roach。 “I heard she got
kicked out for having sex with this whole group of guys in her room。
Her roommate ratted her out。” He laughed。 “Like； couldn’t she
afford a hotel room？”
Charlie laughed。 “I heard she has a kid。 I’m serious。 She had it in
France and left it there。 Her parents are paying to have it raised in
some fancy French convent。 It’s like a fucking movie； man。”
Nate couldn’t believe what he was hearing。 He dropped his shoe
and sat down in the grass。 Then he took off his other shoe and
pulled off both of his socks。 He didn’t say anything； he just sat
there； scratching his bare feet。
“Can you imagine Serena with all these guys in her dorm room？
Like； Ooh； baby。 Harder； harder！” Jeremy fell down on the grass；
rubbing his skinny belly and cackling hysterically。 “Oh； man！”
“Wonder if she even knows who the daddy is；” Anthony said。
“I heard there was a pretty major drug thing going on； too；” Charlie
said。 “She was dealing and got addicted to whatever it was。 She
was in rehab in Switzerland all summer。 After the baby was born； I
guess。”
“Whoa； that is fucked up；” Jeremy said。
“You and her had a thing； didn’t you； Nate？” Charlie said。
“Where’d you hear that？” Nate asked； frowning。
Charlie shook his head and smiled。 “I don’t know； man。 Around。
What’s the problem？ She’s hot。”
“Yeah； well； I’ve had hotter；” Nate said； and immediately regretted
it。 What was he talking about？
“Yeah； Blair’s pretty hot too； I guess；” Charlie said。
“I bet she gets pretty crazy in bed；” Jeremy agreed。
“Dude’s tired just thinking about it！” Anthony said； pointing at Nate
and cackling。
Nate laughed and shook his head