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forwomen 。？
？I think there？s a teen one； too； that？s totally boring； but my mom got me this one by mistake。 I
couldn？t believe it when I started reading it！？
The two girls pored over the pages until they stumbled upon a section called Same…Sex
Relationships。
？Like Ms。 Crumb；？ Jenny observed； reading。 The introduction was long and started with the
line； ？Your feelings are genuine and not to be ignored。 。 。 。？ Outside she could hear the grating
sound of a snowplow driving by。 She looked up to watch the snow falling steadily through the
grimy living room window。
？Hey。 You want to try it？？ Elise asked。
Jenny turned back to the book。 ？What？？
？Kissing；？ Elise answered in barely a whisper。
Your feelings are genuine and not to be ignored。
Yes； but Jenny didn？t really have any feelings for Elise。 She liked her and everything but she
wasn？tattracted to her。 Still； kissing a girl sounded exciting。 It was something she？d never done
before； and if it felt unfortable； she could always pretend to be kissing that tall blond boy
she？d spotted in Bendel？s。
She closed the book and folded her hands in her lap。 Her face was only inches away from
Elise？s。 ？Okay； let？s do it。？ It was just an experiment； something new to try on a boring； snowy
night。
Elise leaned forward and put her hand on Jenny？s arm。 Then she closed her eyes and Jenny
closed hers； too。 Elise pressed her lips against Jenny？s tightly clenched mouth。 It wasn？t a kiss
exactly？it was toodry 。 It felt more like a nudge or something。
Elise pulled her head back and both girls opened their eyes。 ？It says in the book to relax and
enjoy yourself； especially when it？s your first time。？
What； had she； like； memorized the book？
Jenny pulled her curly brown hair up on top of her head and blew a big breath out through her
nose。 She didn？t know what she was so nervous about； but she would have preferred it if Elise had
still been wearing her pants。 ？Do you mind putting your jeans back on？？ she asked。 ？I think I
could； you know； relax more if you were like； dressed。？
Elise hopped up and scooted into her jeans。 ？There； is that better？？ she asked； leaving them
unbuttoned as she sat down on the sofa again。
？Okay。 Let？s try it again；？ Jenny replied； revving herself up。 She closed her eyes and slid her
hands under Elise？s hair and around her neck； trying to be less of a prude about the whole thing。
After all； she was an artist； and artists did all sorts of crazy things。
the next keats meets his next muse
After the Better Than Naked fashion show； the candles lining the runway were removed and red
and blue strobe lights began to zoom against the black velvet walls。 DJ Sassy broke out the phat
French house beats； and the Harrison Street Club was transformed into a seventies European disco
full of half…naked ninety…pound models drinking Cristal champagne straight out of the bottle。
Dan stood alone by the bar； sipping his Red Bull？and…who…knew…what…else cocktail。 It tasted
exactly like baby aspirin and he was only drinking it because the bartender had promised him it
was loaded with caffeine and something called taurine； which was guaranteed to keep him
hyperawake all night。
All of a sudden he noticed a violently tall woman wearing a flaming red bouffant wig？ithad to be
a wig？neon pink lipstick； andhuge tortoise…shell sunglasses standing in the middle of the packed
room with her hands cupped around her mouth。 ？Daniel Humphrey？ Calling Daniel Humphrey！？
she shrieked。
It was Rusty Klein。
Dan tilted his head back and downed his drink； blinking his eyes as the caffeine and whatever
else was in his drink rushed to his brain all at once。 He stumbled over to the woman； his heart
thumping even faster than the music。 ？I？m Dan；？ he croaked。
？Lookatyou ！ Our newpoet ！ You？readorable ！Perfect ！？ Rusty Klein pushed her enormous
sunglasses up on top of her head and jangled the enormous gold bracelets covering her long bony
wrists as she grabbed Dan and kissed each of his cheeks。 Her perfume smelled oily and acidic； like
tuna fish。 ？I love you； honey；？ she purred； squeezing Dan tight。
Dan shrank away； unused to being manhandled by someone he？d only just met。 He hadn？t
expected Rusty Klein to be soscary 。 Her eyebrows had been dyed to match her wig and she was
dressed like a sword fighter； in a form…fitting black velvet Better Than Naked puffy…sleeved jacket
and matching black velvet bullfighting pants。 A rope of black pearls clung to her pale； bony
cleavage。
？I？ve been trying to write more poems；？ Dan stammered。 ？You know； for my book？？
？Wonderful！？ Rusty Klein shouted； thrusting her lips at him again and probably smearing bright
pink lipstick all over his face。 ？Let？s make a lunch date sometime next week。？
？Um； I？ve got school all day every day next week； but I get out at three…thirty。？
？School！？Rusty screamed。 ？You？re socute ！ We can do tea then。 Call my office and have Buckley；
my assistant； set it up。 Oh； fuck me！？ She clasped Dan？s arm with a clawlike hand。 Her fingernails
were at least three inches long and painted orangey pink。 ？There？s someone here you
absolutelymust meet。？
Rusty let go of Dan and held out her arms to receive a frail…looking girl with a long； sad face and
dirty blond hair。 The girl was wearing only a see…through light pink slip over her gaunt frame and
her lank； waist…length hair was unbed； as if she？d just gotten out of bed。 ？Mystery Craze； this
is Daniel Humphrey。 Daniel； this is Mystery；？ Rusty purred loudly。 ？Mystery； honey； you
remember that poem I gave you to read？ The one you said 。 。 。 Oh； fuck me。 I？ll letyou tell him
what you said。 Now if you？ll excuse me； I？m going to go lick my favorite designer？s ass so he？ll
give me some new free clothes。 Love you both。 Ciao！？ she added； before striding away in her
five…inch black stilettos。
Mystery blinked her huge； tired gray eyes。 She looked like she？d been up all night cleaning
floors； like Cinderella。 ？Your poem saved my life；？ she confided to Dan in a low； husky voice。 A
tall； narrow glass of something bright red was wedged into her frail hand。 ？It？s Campari；？ she said
when she noticed him looking at it。 ？Want a taste？？
Dan never drank anything that wasn？t caffeinated。 He shook his head no and tucked his black
notebook under his arm。 Then he lit a Camel and took a long drag。 There； that was much better。
Now at least he？d have something to do； even if he couldn？t think of anything to say。 ？So； are you
a poet； too？？ he asked。
Mystery stuck her thumb into her drink and then licked it off。 The corners of her mouth were
stained red with Campari； making her look like a little girl who？d just eaten a cherry Popsicle。 ？I
write poems and short stories。 And I？m working on a novel about cremation and premature death。
Rusty says I？m the next Sylvia Plath；？ she answered。 ？What about you？？
Dan sipped his drink。 He wasn？t sure what she meant by premature death。 Was there ever a right
time to die？ He wondered if he should write a poem about it； but then again； he didn？t want to
steal Mystery？s material。 ？I？m supposed to be the next Keats。？
Mystery dunked her thumb into her drink again and then licked it off。 ？What？s your favorite
verb？？
Dan took another drag off his cigarette and blew smoke into the crowded； noisy room。 He wasn？t
sure if it was the club； or the music； or the caffeine； or the taurine； but he felt so alive andso good
at that very moment； talking about words with this girl named Mystery whose life he had saved。
He was seriously digging it。
？Dying； I guess；？ he answered； finishing his drink and setting the empty glass down on the
floor。 ？The verbto die 。？ He knew it must have sounded like he was trying to impress her。 After all；
she was writing a book about premature death and cremation。 But it was the truth。 Almost all of
his poems really were about dying。 Dying of love； dying of anger； dying of boredom； of anxiety；
falling asleep and never waking up。
Mystery smiled。 ？Me too。？ Her gray eyes and long； thin face were starkly beautiful； but her front
teeth were crooked and yellow； like she？d never been to the dentist in her entire life。 She snagged
another Red Bull cocktail from a waiter？s tray and handed it to Dan。 ？Rusty says poets are the
next movie stars。 One day we？ll both be riding around in limos with our bodyguards。？ She sighed
heavily。 ？As if that will make life any easier。？ She raised her glass and clinked it against his。 ？To
poetry；？ she announced grimly。 Then she grabbed the back of Dan？s head and pulled him toward
her； crushing his lips in a deep； Campari…soaked kiss。
Dan knew he should have thrown Mystery off； protesting that he had a girlfriend； that he was in
love。 He shouldn？t have enjoyed being hit on by a strange； practically naked girl with yellow teeth。
But Mystery？s lips tasted sweet and sour at the same time and he wanted to understand why she
was so sad and so tired。 He wanted todiscover her； the way he sometimes discovered the perfect
metaphor when he was in the middle of writing a poem； and to do that he had to keep kissin