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metaphor when he was in the middle of writing a poem； and to do that he had to keep kissing her。
？What？s your favorite noun？？ he breathed into her ear when he came up for air。
？Sex；？ she answered； diving for his lips again。
Dan grinned as he kissed her back。
It might have been the taurine； but sometimes it just feels good to be bad。
the girl behind the camera
？So you？re the one。？ A beautiful； tanned； blond dude dressed in baggy orange surf shorts； white
leather Birkenstock clogs； and a brown…and…white pony fur vest with nothing on underneath
smiled at Vanessa with glistening white teeth。 His name was Dork or Duke or something and he
claimed to be a producer。 ？The genius filmmaker。？
？She？s the next Bertolucci；？ Ken Mogul corrected Duke； or whatever his name was。 ？Give me a
year and she？s going to be a household name。？ Ken was dressed like an urban cowboy in a silver
Culture of Humanity down vest over a black Western…style shirt with pearly white snaps instead of
buttons。 His curly red hair was tucked into a black Stetson hat； and he was even wearing black
cowboy boots with his Culture of Humanity boot…cut jeans。 He？d flown into New York that night
from Utah； where his most recent film had just been introduced at the Sundance Film Festival。 It
was an ambitious piece about a deaf and mute man who worked in a cannery in Alaska and lived
in a trailer with thirty…six cats。 The man didn？t talk and spent a lot of time at his puter
e…mailing girls on singles Web sites； so Ken had had to be extremely creative with the camera to
keep the action going。 It was his finest work yet。
？Dude； watching your film was like being born again；？ Dork told Vanessa。 ？It made my day。？
The corners of Vanessa？s mouth turned up in a half…bored； half…amused Mona Lisa smile。 She
wasn？t sure how she felt about being called ？dude；？ but she was glad she？d made Dork？s day。
The Culture of Humanity by Jedediah Angel after…party was an even bigger deal than the fashion
show itself。 Highway 1 had been decorated like a Hindu wedding tent； and bikini…clad models who
hadn？t even been in the show were lounging on leather sofas； drinking saffron martinis。 or
dancing to the live bhangra music。 Vanessa tugged on her tight red top。 It was kind of hard not to
feel like a porker around so many bony； seven…foot…tall models。
？Okay。 Here？s the guy fromEntertainment Weekly ；？ Ken Mogul said； wrapping his arm around
her waist。 ？Smile； it？s a photo op！？
Duke stood on the other side of Vanessa and pressed his tanned； angular cheek against her soft；
pale one。 He smelled like Coppertone。 ？Say salami！？
It was Vanessa？s policynot to smile when she was being forced to have her picture taken； but
why not？ There really wasn？t any danger that she？d get swept up in the glow； marry Duke in the
Temple of Surf and Sand； and live cheesily ever after in a surf shack？cum？film studio on the
beach in Malibu。 She was too hard…core New York for that； and besides； she hated the beach。 No；
tonight would be her one night of cheese and then tomorrow she？d go back to being normal again。
？Salami！？ all three of them cried； flashing their cheesiest smiles for the camera。
Duke stayed close to Vanessa？s side after the photographer left。 ？What hotel are you staying at？？
he asked； assuming she was from LA； just like everyone else he knew。
Vanessa unscrewed the cap on her bottle of Evian and took a swig。 ？Actually； I live here in New
York； in Williamsburg； with my sister。 I？m still in high school。 She plays in a band。？
Dork looked excited。 ？Dude！？ he cried。 ？You？re like one of those people screenwriters make up；
you know？？ He lifted his fingers to make quotations in the air； ？An ？urban hipster。？ Except
you？rereal 。 You？re realer than real。 You？re dyno…mite！？
For a guy called Dork； he was actually pretty insightful。
？Thanks；？ Vanessa said； unsure whether that was the correct response or not。 She？d never had a
conversation with someone so stupid before。 She felt a hand on her elbow and she turned around。
A frail older man wearing a purple velvet smoking jacket and round black glasses smiled up at
her。 ？You？re the film…maker； right？？ he asked。
Vanessa nodded。 ？I guess。？
The old man waggled a bony finger at her。 ？Don？t take your gift too seriously；？ he said before
wandering away。
Duke bent down and spoke urgently into her ear。 ？I？m staying at the Hudson。 Wanna go back to
my room for a drink or something？？
Vanessa knew she should have told him to fuck off； but she？d never been hit on by a gorgeous；
dumb surfer dude who could have hit on any one of the models in the room but had chosen to hit
on her instead。 It was really kind of flattering。 And hadn？t that old guy just told her not to take
things too seriously？ Thank God she？d gone to all the trouble to remove the hair on her
legs。 ？Maybe later；？ she replied； not wanting to shut Dork down pletely。 ？It？s kind of snowy
out right now。？
？Right； duh。？ Duke slapped himself on the head with a goofy laugh。 ？Want to dance instead？？ He
held out his hand； his arm muscles rippling invitingly。 He looked like he never missed a workout
and survived on a diet of protein drinks and wheatgrass。
Vanessa tugged on her red shirt again and took Duke？s hand； following him out onto the
throbbing； crowded dance floor。 She couldn？t believe herself？shehated to dance！ At least no one
she knew would be watching。
Oh yeah？
audrey keeps her clothes on
Because the snow had bee pletely unnavigable and they were trapped downtown； Blair
decided that the most attractive option was to get a suite in the hotel upstairs。
？We can watch TV and order room service；？ she whispered enticingly in Owen？s ear。 ？It？ll be
fun。？
The room was luxurious； with a king…sized bed； a sunken Jacuzzi tub； a flat…screen plasma TV
hanging on the wall； and an impressive view of the partially frozen； white…washed Hudson River。
Owen called room service and ordered a bottle of Veuve Clicquot； filet mignon； pommes frites；
and chocolate mousse cake； and when it came they lay on the bed； feeding each other cake and
watchingTop Gun on TNT。
？How e you and your wife split up？？ Blair asked； forking a piece of cake into Owen？s open
mouth。 Chocolatey crumbs fell onto the white 450…thread…count Egyptian cotton pillowcases。
Owen dipped a teaspoon into the cake？s frosting and offered the spoon to Blair to lick off。 ？We
haven？t。 。 。 。？ He hesitated； his gorgeous； shapely eyebrows furrowing as he considered his
answer。 ？I？d really rather not talk about it。？
Blair smiled sympathetically as she let the frosting melt on her tongue。 She liked playing the role
of the other woman。 It made her feel so 。 。 。powerful 。 Across the room on the huge flat…screen TV
Tom Cruise and Kelly McGillis were making out on his motorcycle。 ？Did she go to Yale； too？？
Owen picked up the remote and pointed it at the television。 Then he put it down again without
changing the channel。 ？I don？t know；？ he replied； sounding exactly like Blair？s little brother； Tyler；
when he was watching TV and their mom asked if he？d done his homework yet。
Blair grabbed the remote and began flipping through the channels。 AFriends rerun。 Wrestling。
MTVCribs 。 She wasn？t sure if she liked the boyish side of Owen。 She much preferred
theman 。 ？She didn？t go to Yale or she did？？
？Uh…huh；？ Owen answered； spooning a huge bit of cake into his mouth。 ？Astronomy major。？
Blair raised her eyebrows as she watched Sean ？P。 Diddy？ bs give a tour of his Upper East
Side manse。 Owen？s wife sounded like a genius。 What kind of person became an astronomy major
anyway？ Someone who wanted to be an astronaut？ She wished Owen had said his wife hadn？t
gone to college at all； but that she just sat around watching dog shows on TV and eating Krispy
Kreme donuts。 That in the end she？d weighed five hundred pounds and he？d been forced to sleep
in the guest bedroom until eventually moving out altogether。 There just hadn？t been room for him
anymore。
Blair flipped over to AMC； her favorite classic movie channel。Casablanca ； starring Ingrid
Bergman and Humphrey Bogart； was almost halfway through。 The Germans had just invaded
Paris and Ingrid was frightened。
She settled back on the pillows； missing the way her long hair used to fan out around her face in
a way she imagined must have been irresistible。 ？Sometimes I pretend I？m living in those times；？
she told Owen dreamily。 ？It just seems so much more sophisticated； you know？ No one wears
jeans； everyone is so polite； and all the women have the best hair…styles。？
？Yeah； but there was a war。 A big one；？ Owen reminded her。 He wiped his mouth on a white
linen napkin and settled back against the pillows beside her。
？So？？ Blair insisted。 ？It was still better。？
Owen reached for her hand and Blair shifted her gaze away from the TV to study his
profile。 ？You know you look exactly like Cary Grant？？ she whispered。
？You think？？ Owen turned his head to look at her； his blue eyes smoldering sexily。
？I cut my hair to look like Audrey Hepburn；？ Blair admitted。 She turned on her side and