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？Everyone get their coats；？ Serena told the ninth graders in peer group on Monday。 ？We？re
taking you out for hot chocolate at Jackson Hole。？
？Don？t worry； we have permission；？ Blair added； checking herself out in the cafeteria mirror。
She？d gone back to the salon to have her hair touched up and now she looked like Edie Sedgwick
from the Andy Warhol Factory days。 It was totally far out。
？Wow；？ Jenny breathed； staring at her。 ？You look great。？ Jenny was so happy since meeting Leo；
she was practically bursting with love for everyone she encountered。
Blair turned around； remembering something。 ？Have you been checking your e…mail？？ she
demanded。
Jenny？s eyes lit up。 ？Oh； yes。 Yes； I have！？
Blair thought about taking credit for Jenny？s obvious state of plete ecstasy； but it was
actually more fun to watch Jenny glow in plete oblivion。 Maybe it wouldn？t be so horrible
being a big sister after all。 She noticed Elise Wells was wearing a tight black cropped sweater
instead of one of her trademark prissy pink cardigans。 Good。 Maybe her mom had finally
murdered her father for being such an asshole。
？How are things with your dad； Elise？？ Serena asked； practically reading Blair？s mind。
To Blair？s surprise； Elise smiled happily。 ？Fine。 He and Mom went away together this weekend。？
She laughed and nudged Jenny in the arm。 ？But never mind me。 I think Jenny has something to
say。？
Jenny knew her face was beet red； but she didn？t care。 ？I？m in love；？ she declared。
Serena and Blair exchanged disparaging looks。 The last thing they wanted to talk about
waslove 。 ？e on； get your coats；？ Serena urged。 ？We？ll meet you outside。？
The atmosphere in Jackson Hole on Madison Avenue was thick with the smell of hamburger
grease and the tittering sound of gossip。 As peer group A walked in and sat down at a table near
the large glass windows； Kati Farkas and Isabel Coates huddled together in the back corner；
discussing the latest developments with anyone who would listen。
？Did you hear about Nate Archibald and that girl from Connecticut？？ Kati asked。 She？d had her
hair cut short over the weekend and it made her Germanic nose look twice its size。 ？They got
busted for having sex in the broom closet at rehab and now he has to go to private therapy in the
city instead。？
？Wait； I thought it wasBlair and Nate in the broom closet；？ Isabel sniffed。 She was wearing a
sample of Serena？s Tears that she？d gotten from her mom？s publicist friend who worked atVogue 。
It made her nose run。
？No； stupid。 Blair is seeing that old guy； remember？ She？s not having his baby anymore； though。
She had a miscarriage。 That？s why she missed so much school。？
？I heard that Blair and Serena both sent in applications to the University of California school
system today；？ said Laura Salmon。 ？They have rolling admission； so you find out which
UC school can take you； like； a few weeks after you apply。？ She raised her thin strawberry blond
eyebrows。 ？Hey； maybe we should all do that！？
Not that any of them wouldreally have considered going to a UC school。
？So what was it like； being in that perfume ad？？ Mary Goldberg asked Serena while the girls in
peer group A were waiting for their hot chocolates。 Cassie Inwirth and Vicky Reinerson pricked
their ears up on either side of her。 The three girls had gotten matching short haircuts over the
weekend； but since none of them had gone to see Gianni at Garren； their cuts were only pale
imitations of Blair？s old one； andnothing pared to her new one。
？Cold；？ Serena answered。 She blew her nose on a paper napkin and then pulled her long； golden
blond hair up on top of her head； twisted it into a bun； and stuck a pencil through it to hold it up。
Of course now they all wished they hadn？t cut their hair。
？I？d really rather not talk about it；？ she added mysteriously。
Blair leaned across the table。 ？She and Aaron broke up during the shoot；？ she told the ninth
graders in a confidential whisper。 She sat up straight again。 ？End of subject。？
The waiter brought their hot chocolates； giant steaming mugs； loaded with Reddi…Wip。
？Can we talk about love now？？ Jenny asked tremulously。 She glanced around the crowded room。
If she was lucky； Leo might even show up so she could show him off。
？No！？ Serena and Blair cried in unison。 They？d specifically brought the group to Jackson Hole
so they wouldn？t have to talk about boys； food； parents； school；anything 。 All they wanted was to
sip their hot chocolates and enjoy each other？s pany。
Suddenly a hush fell over the restaurant as Chuck Bass waltzed in wearing a fox fur hat and a
baby blue pea coat； his monogrammed pinky ring flashing as he passed out pink flyers to everyone
inside。
？Be there or be square！？ he shouted； drifting out the door in a cloud of Serena？s Tears just as
suddenly as he had e in。
The flyer was an invitation to a party on Monday night； and within seconds the entire restaurant
was positively humming。
？Are you going？？
？Wait。 Do you think it？s really Chuck？sing out party？
？No。 It？s his birthday。 Can？t you read？？
？But we went to nursery school together。 His birthday is inSeptember 。 It？s not even his party。
It？s some girl？s。 He？s just handing out the flyers。？
？I still think he？s bi。 I saw him with a girl from L？？cole Fran？aise on Saturday； and they were
practicallydoing it 。？
？Who was that guy anyway？？ Cassie Inwirth whined。
？You know that site。gossipgirl ？ Well； I think that？s him！？ Mary Goldberg announced。
？You think Gossip Girl is a he？？ Vicky Reinerson countered。
？No way！？ Serena and Blair cried。
You never know。
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Disclaimer： All the real names of places； people； and events have been altered or abbreviated to
protect the innocent。 Namely； me。
hey people！
Not that I？m greedy or anything
By now you？ve all seen the flyer inviting everyone to my party Monday night。 And if you
haven？t； where have you been？hiding under a rock？ Please don？t bother to turn up unless you
bring one of the following：
A caramel toy poodle puppy
As many bottles of Serena？s Tears as you can scrape up。 I know there？s a waiting list； but I？m
addicted！
First…class tickets to Cannes this May
Diamonds
A fantastic sense of humor
Every gorgeous boy in your address book
Sightings
Nand his ？ber…rich； pale new girlfriend on a carriage ride inCentral Park 。 Guess she got a day
pass from rehab for good behavior。S andB in theLes Best boutique getting fitted for his entire fall
line。V delivering a manila envelope to the drama department atRiverside Prep 。 You don？t think
she actually turned in that film toD ？s drama teacher do you？ Now that？s dedication！D and that
crazy poetess shouting non…sequiturs out the window of herChinatown studio。 LittleJ and her new
beau checking out tattoos inStink ； an East Village tattoo parlor。 Let？s pray they were only
browsing。
As for those burning questions 。 。 。
WillN and his misbehaving heiress remain a bona fide item？
WillBever get overN ？ Will she grow out her hair？ And？thank God the answer is just around the
corner？will she get into Yale？？
WillS andB remain friends 。 。 。 at least until graduation？
WillS bee a vapid； redundant； celery…eating； supermodel？ Will she ever stay with one guy for
more than five minutes？
WillJ and her new boy live happily ever after？ Will her new best friend try to break them up？
WillV ever evenlook atD again？
WillD keep hanging out with that yellow…toothed poetess？ Willhis teeth turn yellow in the
process？ Will he actually write a memoir？
Will the rest of us get into college？ More importantly； will we all graduate？
Will you ever find out who I am？
Soon it will all bee crystal clear。
See you at my party Monday night； and don？t forget to bring at leastone thing on the list。 Au
revoir！
You know you love me。
gossip girl
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Disclaimer： All the real names of places； people； and events have been altered or abbreviated to
protect the innocent。 Namely； me。
hey people！
Senior slump
I？ve heard the expression ？senior slump？ many times； but I never knew what it meant exactly。
Now it？s crystal clear。 Senior slump is when you blow off your afternoon classes and go back to
your friend？s apartment to order veggie lo mein； drink chardonnay； and smoke cigarettes。 It？s
when you wind up in bed with a boy at three o？clock in the afternoon。 It？s when you skip
third…period calculus to stock up on clingy silk jersey wrap dresses at Diane von Furstenberg？s
private sale。 It？s when you accidentally sleep till ten on a Thursday。Oops。 Last term we were such
goody…goodies； teachers？ pets。 This term we？re badasses。 We？re also feeling our wild oats。 I？m
pretty sure half the girls in my P。E。 class were off kissing boys on the steps of the Metropolitan
Museum of Art instead of doing chin…ups on the monkey bars in the gym。 Keep i